Writing
The Gardener, and The Flower. Revision #2
By Tasha
Poems
Revised: 20-Jan-2011
Added: 20-Jan-2011
Canada
Average rating: 8
1 comments
Love, Epiphany, Gardening
A couple, digging up the roots on a relationship; Discovering how each person needs one another, and how they share the relationship.
Chapter
1
Our love is like a gentle flower.
Always needs someone to care.
Alive and well when we are near.
When weâre gone; the petals tear.
Perhaps itâs just we are to close.
Or that we are one another.
Either way you are the gardener.
And I; am just the gentle flower.
1
Comments
8
Avg. Rating
0
0
Maia Lunasol
January 21, 2011 at 9:23 PM PST
Diction could use some improvement, doesn't flow like it should. You're talking flowers so I'd add some embellishment. Make it beautiful, gentle, graceful. Make the essence of the writing the point you are trying to make.